coollege.

college. it is hard. you know, people always say it is hard, but i always figured that was an exaggeration to make me work extra hard. nope, turns out people actually tell the truth these days? but guess what makes it even harder? putting off all four finals until the monday you have to do them all. and guess who did just that? yep, you're right. me. but besides that... life has been pretty great. i know i tend to fail to see that, but i don't know if i have ever really been so happy... yet confused... at the same time. life is easy, but it is hard. how does that even happen? i have been blessed with this wonderful opprotunity to come to college, somehow landed an amazing job, got the best roommates and friends a gal could ask for making my life so easy. but yet, trying to balance all these amazing things with church and preparing for a mission? not easy. sometimes i find myself getting discouraged, and then once that starts happening, every little thing discourages me. even not going on dates. like really?? i am going on a mission in 6 months, why do i want a boyfriend? but then i start to find myself lonely, like what the heck? my life is great! i don't need some boy to march in and complicate things. its so weird how we look at life so differently every second of every day. sometimes i find myself wondering what is happening to me, where my life is going and what exactly does the Lord have in plan for me? will these things ever come to pass? will i ever get married, have kids, graduate college? but then the next day i am all, "life is great, life is good!" i have so much trust, and have this weird feeling of understanding like i know what i am preparing for is right- i am going to go on a mission, serve the Lord for 1 1/2 years, come home and someday meet that person. i see wedding annoucemnets of people my age getting married and i just realize- i can't handle that yet! everyday the Lord teaches me something new about myself, and for that i am grateful. something else really i have come to appreciate is my new found love and appreciation for my aunt and uncle. in the past our relationship has had so much contention and strife in it, and now i can talk to my aunt on the phone for half an hour or more (which NEVER EVER happened before) and i am finding myself soooo excited to finally go home for christmas this year and spend my measly 1 week with them! i actually wish it was so much more! crazy how our views on life change when we allow the Lord to change our hearts!

admist all this finals week jazz, and stress from everything wonderful life has to offer, i am so excited for this coming weekend! me and my roommates are going to temple square in salt lake city to see the lights, which i have not done in 2 years, and chlo has never seen them. so this is going to be so much fun! then i come home, work the 17 and drive home the 18 for christmas. it will be so great. i will get to finish filling out my papers with shanna and al, and i am so excited for what my future has to offer me. bring it on!

sometimes little things happen in my life, and i find myself so confused about it. like why am i thinking this way? how can this happen? i don't know.. i think sometimes the Lord puts people in our lives at certain times for certain things... sometimes it may not be for what we would hope or wish- but they are there for a reason. for that i am grateful, and i know this church is true!