I am a new person.

Oh my heavens, has it been a little while. I know I swore I would write on here once a week, but it has been pretty hectic.. to say the least.

To say I am stressed right now is an understatement. I have SOO much to do!! College is in less than TWO months! And I want to move out in less than one... but my biggest stresser of all? A JOB!!!!!!! Like, hello?! How the heck am I supposed to find a job from SIX hours away?! I can't begin to describe how bad my life will SUCK if I can't find a job- for starters I will starve! Gol, I hate stress. Not to mention the $1,000 or so extra in college bills I haven't figured out how to pay yet... Why can't I grow up, but not at the same time?? But maybe all this has been for the best? I think it will somehow work out. I have faith!

These past couple months have been really different I would say, with high school ending and becoming an adult beginning I have had to change A LOT! And I would say some of that changing was definitely not for the best.. With my job at the nursing home I have to work every other weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) which means I don't get to attend my own ward on those days seeing as how my work is 45 minutes away from home and I live in town on those weekends. Anyways, since I work those weekends it seems I have been filling my other weekends with traveling and getting away (since I work during the weekdays at my other job). This means I have attending my actual ward maybe once in the last couple months.. and I am not even sure when the last time I attended a full 3 hours of church was. To top it off I have been slacking off on prayer and scripture study- and I have felt the effects of it, for sure!

This last week I spent the week with my Aunt Shanna's family in Lava Hot Springs camping, and spending time with Aubrey and her cousins, Jordin and Tyauna. Well during this time I had lots to think about- including my slack in church attendance and even paying attention to my Heavenly Father... And watching my Aunts' family, most of whom are not active in the church and how their lives have ended up... I made a decision. IT IS TIME FOR CHANGE. 100% all around change. I realized, I am not happy- and the way I change that is to address that unhappiness and change it.

I realized, I need to pay A LOT more attention to scripture study and prayer- the Lord comes first! But I also realized mentally, and physically, I am not happy with myself. I need to change the way I think, but also my habits. I feel not only am I way to negative, but I am degrading to myself. And that ALL has to change. Starting right now- this second- I am going to become a happier, positive, and confident me. I am sick of feeling sorry for myself- somethings in life can't be changed, but I can change how I feel about myself and I can (and WILL) change my lifestyle. I want to be more confident with myself when with my friends out doing fun things, not feeling so self-conscience. I need to forget all the negative things that have happened to me in my life, and be more trusting of people. A lot of people have purposely hurt me in my life, and I realize I have had to deal with more than what I should have. But I can't let that affect me anymore! Those people that hurt me mentally, physically, and emotionally have NO control over me anymore. I am a new person.

Now, I am ready for life’s challenges. I am ready to grow up and accept what has been thrown at me, I am ready to change for the better and more than anything, I am ready to move to SUU and be with my two best friends, Abby and Liz. I am ready to change. Being happy with myself and others is a huge challenge, but BRING IT ON!